Malaise

Over time, I've come to know my weaknesses.  In life, rather like sporting events, I'm not a fast starter.  Hence a return from a prolonged period of holiday or rest results in an uncomfortable feeling of confusion at resentment at having, once again, to start work.

All of which is strange as I love my work.  But I guess that's not to say that it doesn't come with exactly the same pressures as work does to someone who doesn't love what they do.  Possibly more so as the knowledge of what one 'wants to do' hangs heavy around one's shoulders.   No matter how successful I become in terms of relative happiness or ticking boxes against early life's goals I always seem to manage to want more, to never be fully satisfied.

Maybe that's a good thing.  I guess it keeps me hungry.  So I've promised myself just one thing this year.  No more wasted days.   Whatever happens I will never, ever, waste a day.  Something will be achieved that I have set out to do that day.  Too often it's been too easy to coast.  And I think that might be the issue.  Instead of actually setting new challenges, I've coasted or drifted into a situation where many older goals have been achieved, yet new targets haven't been clearly defined.

Re visiting my blog today has helped, if only in some small way to make me become more accountable to myself.  I need to be able to look myself in the mirror, not only after a race but after every day of the race of life.  For whatever reasons I've not been doing that recently.  Time to change.  Time to shape up.

And the photo?  It's an artwork I bought recently.  Postcard sized by an artist named Alexandra McLain.  I keep it on my desk.  I like it and wanted to share it.

Wherever you are -- a happy and prosperous new year to you.  May your life be filled with happiness and the goals you set yourself be tough but attainable.

Peace and love.